Secrets
by EatSleepBlog
Summary: Russia finds out Germany's secret. Will this new knowledge make Russia feel a different way about Germany? RusGer.
1. Chapter 1

"I want to take my brother's place." Germany said to the Allies. Germany had surrendered and know it was time for the consequences. America, England and France would get Germany and Russia would get Prussia but Germany didn't like that. The room was silent as the Allies thought it over. Prussia and Germany sat and watched them discuss it. From the looks of it England, France and Russia didn't have a problem with but America didn't like the idea.

"No, Germany is the west which means we get him." They heard America say.

"It doesn't matter who they are, they're still two halves of Germany it doesn't matter who goes where." England retorted.

"I don't mind getting Germany." Russia spoke up.

"No, Germany belongs to us!" America wouldn't back down.

"America it's three to one and Germany is already fine with it." America didn't have anything to back him up so he only nodded. They rest nodded back then Russia turned to look at Germany.

"Well hurry up and say your goodbyes, I'll be in the hallway." Germany nodded then watched Russia leave the room. As soon as he left Germany turned to Prussia and gave him a hug.

" I guess this will be last time we see each other in a while." Prussia said.

"Yeah." They let go of each other but didn't break eye contact.

"Be careful." Germany got a smirk in response.

"I'm always careful!" Germany couldn't help the little smirk that appears on his face. He got up and turned back to the remaining Allies.

"Don't let him do something stupid." Germany told them.

"That's going to be hard to do." England responded.

"Hey!" Prussia spoke up. America walked over and put his hand in Germany's shoulder.

"If he does anything to you don't hesitate to call me because I'll be over there in a second." Germany nodded. He made his way to the door he turned back to Prussia.

" Ich liebe dich Bruder." He said before leaving.

* * *

The car ride was quiet as Russia and Germany sat in the back seat going to Germany's house in the East. They both were looking out their windows watching destroyed buildings, dead, sick and starving people being left behind. The sights broke Germany's heart. Russia on the other hand still had his fake smile plastered on his face. He did feel sorry for the people. He was never mad at the people, he was just mad at the German government and military. He took a quick peek at Germany and saw that he was leaning against the window asleep. He looked younger and more peaceful when he was asleep Russia thought. But there was something about Germany that Russia just couldn't put in place. Russia decided not to think about it and fell asleep also. Once they got to the house Germany showed him around then went directly to his room. Russia went to his new office to make phone call. As soon as Germany arrived to his room he collapsed on his bed. His whole body hurt and he was hungry, there was barely any food in his country. After a couple minutes Germany decided to change out his clothes and go to bed but not before making a phone call.

"Hallo?" Prussia answered.

"Prussia it's me."

"Oh hey there! What's up?"

"I was just calling to see how things went after you got home."

"Everything went well but I was so bored, all we did was sit down and talk."

"Well, I'm glad everything is okay."

"How's everything with you?"

"Once we got home I showed Russia where everything was and that's it. I'm about to change into my pajamas and go to bed."

"Alright then, good night Germany."

"Good night." With that Germany hung up the phone. He changed his clothes then went to see Russia. He checked his bedroom first but he wasn't there so he checked the office. There Russia was hunched over his desk doing paper work. Germany knocked on the door causing Russia to look up.

"Yes?" Russia asked. "I just wanted to tell you I was going to bed." Germany answered.

"Okay." Russia went back to doing his paperwork.

"Also, I don't have that much food in there. Sorry." Russia looked back up.

"It's fine." Russia answered.

"Okay then, good night."

"Good night."

* * *

Germany woke a little weaker than yesterday and the his stomach was growling more. He dragged himself out of bed and walked into the kitchen to see Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, Poland and Hungary all sitting at the table talking. When they saw Germany they stopped. Hungary jumped out of her seat and ran over to hug him.

"Germany, how are you!" She had him in a bone crunching hug.

"I'm doing fine." He answered. She let go of him and went back to her seat.

"Good Morning, Germany. How did you sleep?"

"Good." He answered sitting down next to Hungary.

"That's good. I've decided we're all going to be staying in the same house so I can keep an eye on all of you. Since East Germany is my territory for now and I have to keep a close eye on him, we're all going to be leaving here." Russia explained. Everybody nodded.

"But I have little to no food, how will you we eat?" Germany asked.

"Don't worry about it." Russia answered. It was silent as everybody sat there at the table. Germany tried keeping his head and his eyes opened, he felt tired and sick. "Excuse me." Germany got up and started walking towards his room.

"Where are you going?" Russia asked.

"Back to bed." Germany answered. As soon as Germany went back to his room Russia put his head in his hands.

"What's wrong Russia?" Ukraine asked.

"There's something about Germany that I just can't seem to place."

* * *

**Thanks for taking the time out your day to read this, I hope you like so far!**


	2. Chapter 2

Germany woke up to darkness filling his room, he looked at his window and saw stars. He realized that it was night time. Since he wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon he decided he was going to sit in the outside.

He went to the backyard and saw that somebody was already out there. He walked up to the person and saw that it was Hungary. She turned and saw that he was standing next to her.

"You finally woke up." She said looking at the sky.

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep?" He asked. Hungary nodded.

"I miss Austria." She said, Germany could hear the sadness.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss him too." That alone made Hungary smile a bit.

"When are you going to tell them your secret?" Hungary asked which caught Germany off guard.

"I don't know? Why do you ask?"

"I think Russia might be on to you, he knows something is different about you and I'm pretty sure he's not going to rest until he figures it out." That alone made Germany worried, he wasn't ready for his secret to be found out.

"I'll try to tell them soon but I'm just really scared. I'm mean this is a secret I kept my whole life. I'm use to living this way, how will I live with the change?" Hungary had a look of understanding while Germany was talking.

"I know exactly where you're coming from, I went through kind of the same thing you are going through. When you tell them you're going to feel much better. The change is going to be hard but you'll get through it, I'll always be here to help."

Hungary gave him a reassuring smile.

"Thank you." Hungary nodded. After a while of looking at the stars Hungary started to yawn.

"I think it's time for me to go to sleep. Good night."

"Good night." Germany still looking at the stars, he heard her walk back into the house. Germany felt his legs shaking and he knew he couldn't stand any longer. He made his way over the bench and plopped down, he lifted his legs and put them on the bench.

He couldn't get up any more because he was getting weaker and weaker by the day. He laid there on the bench and he could hear the crying and screams of his people.

He laid there looking up at the sky. How was he going to tell them? How was he going to live with the change? Were they going to look at him differently? Germany decided not to think about it anymore, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Meanwhile Russia was in the window watching as the whole thing went down. 'So there is something different about him. Maybe the secret is what's different about him.'

Russia thought as he watched the man lay down on the bench. Russia has noticed a lot a things about Germany. He noticed that his face is naturally full, he noticed that he has more grace than a man has, he's noticed that his hips sway more and he's noticed that his ass is higher and rounder.

Yes Russia stares at Germany's ass because, it's a nice ass. Who wouldn't stare at his ass? Out of all the asses Russia has seen in his life, Germany's is in the top 3. Russia liked nice asses.

* * *

Germany woke up confused, he was in his room. Why was he in his room? Didn't he fall asleep outside.

"I carried you to bed." He heard someone say, He looked at the doorway and saw Russia standing there.

"Thank you." He started sitting up so he could get out of bed.

"I don't think you should get up, it looks like you can barely stand." Russia said as watched Germany try to get up.

"I'm fine." Germany managed to get up and he felt his legs shake but he ignored it. He tried to take a step but he lost his balance and was sent crashing to the floor.

When he felt Russia's hand pet his head he let out a groan.

"Silly Germany, I told not to stand up." He groaned louder at the statement. He was caught off guard when he felt himself being picked up. Russia had picked him up placed him back onto the bed.

"Now stay put." Russia said with cheer in his voice, but he knew that was a command.

"But I need to eat and how will I go to the bathroom?"

"I'll have Lithuania take care of you." Germany didn't like that idea, he didn't want to be waited on but he knew there wasn't going to be an argument.

"Fine." He finally responded.

"Good, now I'm going to be gone for a few weeks because I have a meeting with China. I've already told the others this, don't think since I'm gone that means you guys can do what you want. I'll know if something happens, I have eyes and ears everywhere." Russia suddenly had gotten dark.

"I understand."

"Good! Now just relax and Lithuania will be here shortly with breakfast." He was back to his regular self. Germany could only stare. When Russia walked out the room he let out a breath he didn't even know he was keeping in.

* * *

Germany was staring off into space when he heard a knock, he looked to see Lithuania standing in the doorway with a tray in his hands.

"Good morning Lithuania."

"G-good morning Mr. Germany." He was shaking for some unknown reason.

"Just call me Germany." Germany gave him a little smile which helped him calm down.

"Okay then, Germany." He made his way quickly over to Germany's side and placed the tray on his lap.

"Thank you." Lithuania watched Germany eat with a look as if he wanted to say something but was too scared to do it.

"Why did you do it?" Lithuania asked quickly making Germany confused.

"What?"

"Why did you do it, why did you choose to stay with Russia?" Lithuania looked at him like he was crazy. Germany didn't understand what the big deal was.

"Simple, I know my brother and Russia don't like each other and they would probably fight twenty-four seven. I don't feel like listening to my brother talk about all the fights they would get into because I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of war. I'm tired of violence in general." Germany explained.

Lithuania understood what Germany was saying. After being in a war that nearly destroyed all Europe, you get sick of the violence.

"I see." Is what Lithuania could only respond with. They sat in silence as Germany finished his breakfast.

"How do you it?" Lithuania asked.

"How do I do what?" Germany was confused, what was with all these questions?

"Russia said he feels like you're hiding something from him, how do you manage to do that? How do you hide stuff from Russia?" Germany froze, so Russia was on to him. He couldn't have Russia finding out before he was ready to tell anybody.

"I-I'm not hiding anything." Germany answered. Lithuania had a look of sympathy.

"You don't have to lie, I know you've managed to keep whatever you're hiding hidden from Russia for a while but he will find out. You need to tell him soon because you don't want him to find out on his own, there will be consequences." Lithuania warned. Since Germany didn't respond he took his tray and left leaving a scared Germany alone.

* * *

Russia was sitting in the backseat of the car looking out the window with his usual smile on his face. 'I will find out your secret silly little German.'

* * *

**I finally updated! Sorry I took so long it's just I've been lazy. I've been having trouble coming up with ideas for this story and I'm pretty sure you have an idea of what Germany's secret is. If you look at my bio you'll understand, also last night I was talking to my friend on tumblr about ideas for my story. Anyway, thanks for reading and don't forget to comment!**


	3. Chapter 3

Germany started to enjoy Lithuania taking care of him. Whenever he came in with his food, they would have little conversations. He would help him to the bathroom so he

could do whatever he needed to do. He always asked if he needed any assistance but he would kindly decline, but he was always outside the door incase something

happened. Whenever he took showers he was always careful so he wouldn't fall so Lithuania wouldn't come in and help. It was getting harder though, he could barelystand anymore.

Today was worse than before, he nearly made Lithuania and him fall on his way to the bathroom. Once he finally made to the bathroom he fell.

"Why don't you just let me wash you." Lithuania asked helping him up.

"No. I'm fine. I can wash myself, thank you."

"But Germany you can barely stand! You can't even get up without somebody helping you!" Lithuania pushed.

"I told you I'm fine, if I need help I'll call you." He knew was lying, he wouldn't call help even if he needed it. Lithuania did back off though and let him do what he needed to do.

As soon as he left, Germany started having trouble getting undressed. He would lose his balance easily everytime he tried taking off an article of clothing. His underwear

was the last thing to come off and once he took it off he fell. He used the side of the tub to lift himself up, it took a lot but he managed to do it. When he bent over to turn

the water on he was gripping the wall so hard his knuckles started hurting. At first when he was in the shower it was going fine, until he dropped the soap. He looked

at the soap as if it was going to fly back into his hands. He knew that he couldn't pick it up but he knew Lithuania couldn't either. He decided picking it up was the best

option even though it was risky. When he bent over to try and grab it, the soap slipped out his hands. He tried picking it up again but failed. Once he finally got the soap he straightened but then fell back.

'Fuck.' He mentally cursed.

"Germany, is everything okay in there?" Lithuania asked through the door.

"Yes, everything's fine." Germany tried pushing himself up he got tired fast and gave up. He then grabbed onto the shower curtains and tried to pull himself up. He was

almost to his knees when the shower curtains fell. Germany never weak in his life, he couldn't even get of a damn bathtub. He was on the verge of tears when he heard Lithuania.

"I don't care what you say, I'm coming -" Lithuania said coming in. He paused when he saw Germany.

"Oh my God."

**Sorry this is a short chapter, I didn't really write here. I'm pretty sure you guys know what's going to happen next. I'm also that I'm late with the update, I've just been really lazy lately. Anyway, I hope you like the chapter. Please leave a review, I wanna know how you guys like it. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

"What the hell!" Lithuania yelled as he was pacing back and forth in Germany's room. Germany only sat the bed with his head barried in his hands. Lithuania had just helped Germany out the bathtub after he fell and he had seen something shocking.

"Can you calm down for a minute?" Lithuania stopped pacing and looked Germany like he was a mad man.

"Calm down? Calm down? How can I calm down after what I saw!" Germany didn't know how to respond so he only looked at him with pleading eyes. Lithuania saw the look Germany gave him and sighed, he sat down next to Germany.

"So you were hiding something." Lithuania said looking at the ground, Germany gave a faint nod.

"How long have you been living like this?"

"Ever since I was created."

"Does anybody else know?"

"Prussia, Hungary and America."

"How did America find out."

"After the first war America and I gotten closer even though our countries weren't on good terms. One day we were talking and I told him." Germany shrugged as if it was so simple.

"You make it sound so simple."

"Because it was simple."

"How," Lithuania shot up from the bed. "how can you easily tell somebody something like that! For Gods sakes you went to war against him, he could've told everybody the Allies side! Hell, he could've told everybody in entire fucking world! Weren't you scared?" Germany thought about it for second.

"I don't know how it was simple, but it was. I just felt comfortable around him even though we were "enimes", I could tell him anything. I was never scared though because I trusted him. I never really thought about the aftermath of telling him this information. I guess thinking about it now, he could've told somebody but thank God he didn't." Lithuania couldn't believe Germany's attitude towards this.

"Then why are you so scared of everybody else finding out?"

"Because I'll have to face change."

* * *

Russia came around 4 am to a quiet house even though he expected that, who would be up a 4 am? He went directly to his room and sat down on his bed. He couldn't sleep so he just sat there and stared at the wall and let his thoughts run wild. Germany had a secret and Hungary, Prussia, America and Lithuania knew. RUssia wasn't surprised when his thoughts started to get depressing. Lithuania, was scared of him. Estonia and Latvia was scared of him also. He heard what they said about him when they thought he wasn't around. He could see the fear in their eyes just like he could see the disappointment in Ukraine's eyes. He could also see the hatred that filled the eyes of Poland when he saw him. He was used to all the looks and all the gossip, but he hated them so much.

He could feel himself crying so he decided to go to the bathroom and wash his face. Once he was in the bathroom he turned the sink on and splashed some water in his face. He took a towel and dried his face then looked in the mirror. Looking at himself made him sick, from his purple eyes to the scars on his neck. He hated his personality, he hated his actions, he hated the tears that went down his face. He couldn't stand looking at himself.

"You make me fucking sick." He growled. He reeled his arm back then punched the mirror. He just stood there with his hand in the mirror breathing heavily. He heard the sounds of hurried footsteps in the hallway and they sounded like they were coming towards his room. When he heard the door open and close he expected to see Lithuania, but to his surprise it was Germany.

"Russia, what was that noise? He heard him ask. He took his hand out the mirror then turned to him, he saw Germany's face go from worry to horrified in an instant.

"Russia, why did you this to your hand?" Russia said nothing and walked over to his bed leaving Germany standing in the bathroom doorway. Germany watched as Russia took his shoes off and laid down. What the hell is going on?

"Russia-"

"I know you're hiding something from me." He cut him off, Germany looked confused.

"What?"

"I know you're hiding something from and I also know that Lithuania knows."

"Lithuania doesn't know anything, I'm not hiding anything." Russia turned over and looked at him.

"I know you're lying, I told you I have eyes and ears everywhere. I know about the conversation between you and Hungary and the conversation between you and Lithuania." Russia got up and out of bed and started walking over to Germany.

"You might as well tell me now or there will be consequences. You're already weak enough, I don't think your body can handle anymore damage." Germany thought about it. He was right, he couldn't take anymore damage. Germany was on the verge of collapsing every day. He knew Russia wasn't bluffing when he was talking about how there would be consequences. He started shifting from foot to foot and looking around the room before his eyes landed on Russia's hand. It was bloody, bruised and it had glass sticking out of it.

"I'll tell you if you let me fix your hand." Russia thought about it for a second before agreeing. He followed Germany in to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. He watched as Germany looked through a draw and pulled out tweezers, bandages and tape and set them on the counter. He took the tweezers and carefully started pulling out the glass. When he finished he looked through another draw and found a cloth. He wet the cloth then started cleaning out the cut up hand, once he was finished, he threw the cloth off to the side then started bandaging the hand. Russia watched him do this and started to feel a strange feeling in his gut. The way Germany looked so careful and determined made Russia's heart flutter. He snapped out his thoughts when Germany stood up, he looked down at his hand then back at Germany.

"I let you fix my hand so now you have to tell me your secret." Germany felt his stomach drop and sweat appear on his forehead. He looked everywhere except Russia and started shifting on his feet.

"I uh, I'm I'm, I-I," Germany tried but the words wouldn't come out. Russia didn't show a look of annoyance, in fact, he didn't show any emotion at all.

"Go on." He commanded.

"I'm, I'm a woman."

* * *

**There you have it, Germany's a girl. I'm know some of you guys will read this and be like 'really?' I have been dropping hints though so you guys shouldn't be surprised. This my second Fem Germany story and there's probably going to be a lot more after this. I just really, really, really love Fem Germany! I really want to write an America x Fem Germany story because that is my OTP. But I also love America x Germany. If I did make a America x Fem Germany story, would you guys read it. I'd really appreciate it. Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter and don't forget to comment!**


End file.
